Firstly, I’d like to welcome my new subscribers this month. I always feel very humbled when I see an email informing me that another soul wishes to share my little corner of the internet with me and I’m very grateful that you’re here.
How are you wintering? I made a pact with myself this winter to embrace it and lean into it. This meant learning that it’s okay wanting to stay indoors more, light the fire and switch on a few ambient lamps to give the house a warm, cosy feel and hunker down. Of course every day life still happens, however I think I’ve learnt to find a balance between hibernation mode and the usual everyday routines.
Having said all that, January was a mixed month for me. On the one hand there’s been the joy that a new baby brings to family life and on the other I’ve been remembering the life of my much-loved godmother who passed away on 2nd January, aged 87.
The first happy event is very much a part of my new life since my parents died in 2012, whereas my godmother’s passing was another link to them and my previous life that has been severed. There have been moments where I have felt unzipped right down to the centre of my core with conflicting emotions leaving me feeling very unsettled (a bit like our stormy January weather!)
As a childfree-by-choice woman, a new baby doesn’t stir strong maternal feelings in me, however I’ve accepted that children are going to be a big part of my life now and I’m slowly finding my way in feeling comfortable with that. I know the Universe will help me so I have no reason to feel concerned.
I took part in Beth Kempton’s cosy online Winter Writing Sanctuary at the time and I discovered a new (to me) way of processing my feelings. I wrote a poem! I haven’t written poetry since I was at school (and even then I sometimes cheated, sorry Benny Anderson and Bjorn Ulvaeus for “borrowing” some of your words when I was 15, although I don’t think you need to be worried about Royalties!)
The Ebb & Flow of Life, by Wendy Jennings The ebb and flow of life, One in, one out. The cycle continues, The ebb and flow of life. A new life enters in, Full of wonder, hopes and dreams. She has no idea what lies ahead of her screams, She’s hungry, that’s all she knows! Meanwhile another soul departs, Her life complete, tired of heart. No more to do, just rest, Knowing she has done her best.
I’ve been enjoying re-connecting with a regular writing practice and I feel that my art practice is now influencing my style of writing. I think I’m learning to paint clearer images through words and it has sparked an exciting new project for me… watch this space!
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I dipped in and out of two Manifesting Challenges during the month too. I prefer these to setting Resolutions as they enable me to go deeper into myself and figure out what it is I really desire for the year ahead whilst also re enforcing my Spiritual Practice. This came in very handy after an unexpected and not very pleasant surprise from the Tax Man regarding my yearly tax bill!
I knew I would owe more than last year and had prepared for that, but I didn’t know I would be required to pay half of next year’s bill on account at the same time as I’d gone over a certain threshold.
My initial reaction was to be indignant, and that was quickly followed by annoyance and anger. It meant I had to use money I’d saved for Fun & Treats to pay the tax man instead. Hrrrmmpphhh!
Then I slid into Victim Mode, as in “why is it that whenever I get to a point where I feel financially abundant and safe, something happens to take it away?”
This isn’t true of course, it’s a Belief that I’ve conjured up over the years that I’ve outgrown. What matters is that I did have the money to pay the bill, it doesn’t matter what pot it came from and I’m very grateful that I could pay it. Paying tax is a necessity and I have had many a year when I didn’t need to pay it. Now I feel like I’m contributing again, which feels purposeful and positive.
If it wasn’t for my ongoing Spiritual Practice and learning to look for the positives rather than the negatives, I would still be feeling very grumpy! Instead, I’ve sent the situation away with love and gratitude and moved on; a real case of been there, done that.
If you’re reading this here in the UK you will know that our weather has been very unpredictable recently, however we have been blessed with some glorious sunny days between the gales and deluges. I’ve enjoyed some beautiful, peaceful winter walks delighting me with surprising bursts of colour from red berries, cheerful yellow gorse, carpets of greens and bright cerulean skies. The low sun illuminates the surroundings with a vivid golden light pierced with the sound of Robin's songs, it’s simply joyous.
I had neglected my sketchbook somewhat during December, what with the runup to Christmas and succumbing to one of the horrible viruses, so these winter walks inspired me to open it up again and pick up my art materials. The RSPB’s Big Garden Birdwatch also took place during the last weekend of January, where the Great British Public are invited to spend an hour recording the birds that land in our gardens. I put out some mixed seed on the ground and on the bird table, peanuts in one feeder and fat balls in the other one.
In my hour from 8.30-9.30 on Saturday morning I saw three sparrows, two dunnocks, three blue tits, two magpies, two robins, two great tits, two wood pigeons, one blackbird and two very fat grey squirrels. No signs of the other usual suspects such as the nuthatch, wrens or coal tits…..typical!
Feeling inspired once more by this and a YouTube video by Harriet De Winton about painting very loose, very quick ink and water colours of the birds, I had a go at painting three taking no more than 20-30 seconds each. It’s a very liberating exercise that forces the brain to clear the clutter and just get on with painting what’s in front of you without getting hung up on the details.
And that brings me to the end of this month’s coddiwomple through life. I’m already noticing that the days are lengthening and that signs of spring are peeping through so I’m looking forward to what February will bring. Thank you so much for being here with me and if you’ve reached the end, please leave the word “Sanctuary” the Comments and anything else you’d like to share. I love hearing from you. Every Like, Comment and Share helps me to reach more like-minded souls.
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Until next time, stay well and don’t forget to follow your sunshine. I look forward to re-connecting in February.
Sanctuary 💚 Wonderful read as always Wendy, a delight in so many ways 🌻 And condolences for the loss of your beloved Godmother 🙏 x